If It Be Not Now by Natalie Miller

Athena Press, 2007

For lovers of Russian Literature.
- By Cheryl A Townsend

Natalie Miller’s story of Demetrius Ulyanov is a heart wrenching saga of most unfortunate events, beginning in youth and continuing to his painful death.

After his mother dies giving birth to his sister, who also dies, Demetrius’ grief-stricken father commits suicide. Demetrius, a young lad, is then left alone and utterly devastated. His interrupted attempt to hang himself leaves him forever marked and ashamed.
In young adulthood, Demetrius opens a tailor shop, living a quiet, simple existence until his childhood friend invites him to his wedding. Giddy with anticipation, he packs up for the big city of Moscow, entrusting his business and home to a close acquaintance and begins another chapter of despair.

Demetrius is Ukrainian and unable speak or understand Russian. Debarking the train, lost and confused, he asks simply for directions. No one understands him, nor he they. He is assumed an insane lunatic and subsequently becomes a scapegoat for the killer of a local doctor. A judge hurries the untried Demetrius off to life in prison where he is at a loss for the reason or anyone able to enlighten him. For 6 years, he is continually humiliated and beaten. Pathetic and meek, he wanes. On one of his trips to the infirmary, an opportunity for escape arises and he takes it.
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Demetrius’ run for freedom ends with him collapsing in exhaustion and ironically waking up in the yard of the very friend he initially came to see. I really hoped for the happily ever after here, but it’s just not in his fate.
Fairly soon after, the man who had initially framed Demetrius confesses his guilt in a suicide letter, leaving Demetrius officially a free man. A free man that still suffers his untreated prison beatings of broken bones and a final rendering of Tuberculosis.

Recouping at his friend’s home, Demetrius is contacted by a grandfather he never knew of and learns he is now an extremely rich Baron. Knowing his own impending death, Demetrius asks only for a simple cottage in the country to live his remaining days contentedly. His grandfather allots for all Demetrius’ expenses to be paid, including a new doctor that becomes his only friend there.
Demetrius finds work at a tailor shop, meets Sofya, falls in love and marries her as soon as she’s free of her parents planned arrangements. Sofya tends to Demetrius through his fevers, weakness, and hauntings. They conceive a child and Demetrius is delirious with delight, albeit also remorse that he will not live to know it. I leave Demetrius’ final devastation for you to suffer on your own. And you will. It is impossible not to care about a man so giving in spirit and forgiving in nature. An extremely compassionate story just waiting for Adrian Brody to turn into an Oscar winner.

Mz Miller writes with incredible emotion and depth. I’ve never felt so compelled, so sorrowful for a character than here. I fell in love with Demetrius…and I miss him.