Artist Statement
As a young girl growing up in Los Angeles in the 1950’s, nothing was as closely associated with beauty as breasts, figure and hair. So a diagnosis of breast cancer and the double mastectomy and chemotherapy that followed struck at the very core of my bodily self-image. Despite years of rebelling against such conventional notions of beauty, I was forced to confront my own vanity along with the fear of my own mortality.
This series of self-portraits grew out of the need to transform, rather than document, illness and disfigurement. I used camera, computer, direct body scans and overlays to acquaint myself with my reconfigured body. The process of deconstruction and reconstruction of appearance and reality mirrored the physical process I was undergoing. On a deeper level each image provided a space in which to delve beneath the surface of the ordinary routines of the disease and its treatment and to re-imagine beauty.
From the beginning, I recognized the visual possibilities in the galaxy of calcifications that spread across the hospital monitor during a second biopsy; how could something so deadly appear so beautiful. At the same time, scars, physical imperfections and losing one’s hair seemed pretty pathetic concerns when held up to the possibility of losing life itself. Hence the need to turn bald/ugly into bald/new life. These images reveal the tension between the loss of physical adornment, or beauty, and the desire for existential beauty, which is life itself.
Kay Chernush
October, 2008
Misty Ericson
Misty Ericson holds a BA in English & Comparative Literature from San Jose State University, California, and an MA History of Art from University of Leeds, UK. In addition to her work on HerCircleEzine.com, which she founded in 2005, Misty enjoys painting in her studio and restoring her home in the English countryside.
I have always felt that I had a mastectomy. In my mind, my breast called so much attention that I tended to “go undercover” as you state. I have been undercover probably all my life as I never felt beautiful in my own skin because I was molested at the beginning of puberty. I sometimes cup my hands over my breast and mutter, “if only I didn’t have them!” I realize then, that I should be careful for what I wish for.
It’s hard to say what I would do during chemo/radiation or any other type of treatment but this I know…while going through adversities it seems hopeless and even endless, but once having come through to the other side, I am so amazed at the strength I never knew I had.
I pass that strength to you, through me, by the Grace of God.
Your visual art story is beautiful and compelling and it is through your art that you heal, or begin to heal, but more importantly you allow others to heal who can’t put into words what they are going through.
It feels weird to say I really enjoyed this, but your work is amazing – thanks for turning your experience in to such an extraordinarily moving, harrowing and beautiful piece of work.