Writing About the Body: Sharing Our Strengths

photo by Victoria Cohen

I recently took a group of eighteen college students to see Encyclopedia, a live performance by the amazing troupe Lava, known for combining dance, acrobatics and pure strength. The students were in New York City to participate in a program I run called Feminist Summer Camp; all of us were mesmerized and inspired and kept referring to the great collaboration this show exhibited. If one person slipped, that affected everyone, and in order for one person to complete their move, they often needed to be spotted by another. The performers physically revealed how important collaboration was and how interdependent we are in achieving our goals.

Lava turned out to be the antidote to a theme we had talked about earlier in that week: a fear that there is a scarcity of resources. Articulated best by the creators of Chicken & Egg Productions, which helps women documentary film makers, and has as a premise that any resource they have is to be shared. As they said, “we hold hands with our filmmakers.”

When the students arrive at Feminist Summer Camp in my introductory remarks I always talk about how one of the greatest lessons will likely be this shared experience. Many come to this week having been superstars in their own communities and it’s humbling for most to be suddenly thrown into a group of other over-achievers. This is how I felt when I first arrived at college: shell-shocked that other women had resumes similar to mine. Before long I learned that simply being friends with other amazing women was its own advantage.

Women are particularly vulnerable to the assumption that there are so few resources to go around, since women, like other marginalized groups, are still expected to share with each other, while leaving the majority to be dominated by a homogeneous male elite. Thus begins the misconception that only other women stand in the way of women achieving more.

I certainly remember as a girl being thrilled when I was picked to play kickball with the boys or when I was one of only a few girls in advanced math classes. Thrilled because I knew there was only room for a few girls; I never thought I was competing against the boys for these cherished spots. It was only much later in life that I realized how perishable that chosen place was and how manipulative it was to treat boys as the arbiters of success.

As is, these fears of being picked (or of not being picked) mostly manifest negatively and create tension and competition among those who should be otherwise aligned. Just where you would expect to find allies, I have been shocked to find competition. In progressive organizing I see it when it comes to securing donors and the fear that someone might “take” your donor; in parenting I see it when there are only a few spots for kids to be “admitted”; and in writing I see it when female writers are still few and far between in mainstream publications and when there are still too few paying publications willing to publish women.

One of the biggest competitive sources for women is around body image and I actually think women feel far more competitive with friends and colleagues than with strangers. For me the best remedy was playing competitive sports. Interestingly the way through competition was competition. Learning what our bodies were physically capable of made them more individual and less generic. That is exactly why we all responded so positively to the Lava performance—seeing the women’s physical strength revealed their emotional and intellectual power.

Amy Richards is the author of Opting In: Having A Child Without Losing Yourself among other books and essays. She is a co-founder of the Third Wave Foundation and is the president of Soapbox: Speakers Who Speak Out, Inc. Learn more at: www.soapboxinc.com or @heymsamelia.

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